Amethyst 2014 Featured Match Write-ups

[Fuijiwara]

In the first Write-up that I made, I saw a lot of mistakes , so I was a little bit embarrased but, I love the sensation that I had when I read it that I tried again doing another one today.

Chocolat vs Takanashi TōkaShow

This two girls have different abilities that compliment each other perfectly, Tōka has the ability to make the most delicious dishes and she wants to share them with the people she loves . While Chocolat as her name says, she loves to eat all kind of sweets and desserts but, they also have something in common, they try to protect the people who is important for them, Tōka has the responsability to protect Rikka but is not just because is her sister, its because she loves her and want the best for her. Chocolat was sent by god to break Kanade's absolute choice. However, she's lost her memories but still, she tries her best to support Kanade in whatever he needs.

This seems way too short and does not really say much. Yes, the main theme is to protect but it is like you're giving one liners for the info and the main portion

[houreki]

In the first Write-up that I made, I saw a lot of mistakes , so I was a little bit embarrased but, I love the sensation that I had when I read it that I tried again doing another one today.

Chocolat vs Takanashi TōkaShow

This two girls have different abilities that compliment each other perfectly, Tōka has the ability to make the most delicious dishes and she wants to share them with the people she loves . While Chocolat as her name says, she loves to eat all kind of sweets and desserts but, they also have something in common, they try to protect the people who is important for them, Tōka has the responsability to protect Rikka but is not just because is her sister, its because she loves her and want the best for her. Chocolat was sent by god to break Kanade's absolute choice. However, she's lost her memories but still, she tries her best to support Kanade in whatever he needs.

This seems way too short and does not really say much. Yes, the main theme is to protect but it is like you're giving one liners for the info and the main portion

Thank you for the advice.
So, would you mind helping me with this

[Kordosa]

I actually found some time to do a content pass for today's previews before the matches get underway.

Comments for Fuijiwara - Victorique vs. ShinobuShow

The Silver Wolf- a fearsome yet intelligent creature.

The Silver Wolf might be intelligent but is she truly fearsome,

I think the legend's name is actually "Gray Wolf" in the series.

Comments for tehyc - Eucliwood vs. MikotoShow

A heavy-weighted match between the two strongest girls in the league, the Necromancer Eucliwood Hellscythe, and the Electromaster Misaka Mikoto.

Who the "strongest" are is debatable, and the wording might start a flame war. I would suggest changing that to "two of the strongest Stella girls" instead.

In this match, she will face one of her favourite opponent since ISML 2012, Misaka Mikoto, who she had won all head-to-head matches.

I'm not exactly sure if "favorite opponent" is the right way to put it. I'm a little confused as to your meaning there.

Comments for BugH - Shana vs. YamiShow

This cute-midget-looking girl befriends with many earthlings and becomes one with them.

I would probably not used "midget" since that term can seem demeaning. I would use "petite" instead.

Comments for houreki - Chocolat vs. ToukaShow

I agree with Fuijiwara that the preview is a little on the short side, but I think the content is okay. I would suggest a closing sentence that again brings up the comparisons between the two characters and/or asks the voters who they will choose.

EDIT: Damn, chrome crashed on me while typing my beautiful write up >.>

This has happened to me before, and I recommend using Notepad while formulating long forum posts with specific details in them. It can save you a lot of trouble.

Match previews I did not look at due to not being posted yet as of this post:

• Fuijiwara's Kanade vs. Mashiro preview
• Jiharo's Eru vs. Yaya preview
• Jiharo's Makina vs. Mare preview

[smartboyhw]

I actually found some time to do a content pass for today's previews before the matches get underway.

Comments for Fuijiwara - Victorique vs. ShinobuShow

The Silver Wolf- a fearsome yet intelligent creature.

The Silver Wolf might be intelligent but is she truly fearsome,

I think the legend's name is actually "Gray Wolf" in the series.

Comments for tehyc - Eucliwood vs. MikotoShow

A heavy-weighted match between the two strongest girls in the league, the Necromancer Eucliwood Hellscythe, and the Electromaster Misaka Mikoto.

Who the "strongest" are is debatable, and the wording might start a flame war somewhere. I would suggest changing that to "two of the strongest Stella girls" instead.

In this match, she will face one of her favourite opponent since ISML 2012, Misaka Mikoto, who she had won all head-to-head matches.

I'm not exactly sure if "favorite opponent" is the right way to put it. I'm a little confused as to your meaning there.

Comments for BugH - Shana vs. YamiShow

This cute-midget-looking girl befriends with many earthlings and becomes one with them.

I would probably not used "midget" since that term can seem demeaning. I would use "petite" instead.

Comments for houreki - Chocolat vs. ToukaShow

I agree with Fuijiwara that the preview is a little on the short side, but I think the content is okay. I would suggest a closing sentence that again brings up the comparisons between the two characters and/or asks the voters who they will choose.

EDIT: Damn, chrome crashed on me while typing my beautiful write up >.>

This has happened to me before, and I recommend using Notepad while formulating long forum posts with specific details in them. It can save you a lot of trouble.

Match previews I did not look at due to not being posted yet as of this post:

• Fuijiwara's Kanade vs. Mashiro preview
• Jiharo's Eru vs. Yaya preview
• Jiharo's Makina vs. Mare preview

So my preview passed? Great.

I agree with Kordosa here. I have been writing the match previews on my smartphone, so I used the "Memo" app to write the previews and copy them to the Chrome browser tab. Since Chrome always crashes twice per day on my low-tier Samsung phone due to limited RAM, I never write it on Chrome.

[Kordosa]

Comments for Fuijiwara - Kanade vs. MashiroShow

the other the vice president of the Seitokai, whom is widely respected in the whole school.

Kanade was actually the president.

Match previews I did not look at due to not being posted yet as of this post:

• Jiharo's Eru vs. Yaya preview
• Jiharo's Makina vs. Mare preview

[tehyc]

I actually found some time to do a content pass for today's previews before the matches get underway.

Comments for tehyc - Eucliwood vs. MikotoShow

A heavy-weighted match between the two strongest girls in the league, the Necromancer Eucliwood Hellscythe, and the Electromaster Misaka Mikoto.

Who the "strongest" are is debatable, and the wording might start a flame war. I would suggest changing that to "two of the strongest Stella girls" instead.

In this match, she will face one of her favourite opponent since ISML 2012, Misaka Mikoto, who she had won all head-to-head matches.

I'm not exactly sure if "favorite opponent" is the right way to put it. I'm a little confused as to your meaning there.

Thanks for the advice there, and I already changed those parts.

[Jiharo]

Comments for Fuijiwara - Kanade vs. MashiroShow

the other the vice president of the Seitokai, whom is widely respected in the whole school.

Kanade was actually the president.

Match previews I did not look at due to not being posted yet as of this post:

• Jiharo's Eru vs. Yaya preview
• Jiharo's Makina vs. Mare preview

Not posting anymore. No time.

[Fuijiwara]

Comments for Fuijiwara - Kanade vs. MashiroShow

the other the vice president of the Seitokai, whom is widely respected in the whole school.

Kanade was actually the president.

Match previews I did not look at due to not being posted yet as of this post:

• Jiharo's Eru vs. Yaya preview
• Jiharo's Makina vs. Mare preview

Not posting anymore. No time.

Thanks for the note. I sometimes fumble some of the titles these girls have

You're great help Kora

[Just]

Eucliwood Hellscythe (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?) vs Misaka Mikoto…Show

A heavy-weighted match between the two strongest girls in Stella Division, the Necromancer Eucliwood Hellscythe, and the Electromaster Misaka Mikoto.
In this period, both of them get themselves a perfect score, and in overall, Eucliwood Hellscythe is looking good with only one lose while Misaka Mikoto is still maintaining her amazing unbeaten run.
Although Eucliwood Hellscythe had one lose, but she still maintaining her overall performance well. This match is very important to her as she is targeting her third necklace in her ISML career.
In this match, she will face Misaka Mikoto, who she had won all head-to-head matches since ISML 2012.
Misaka Mikoto had won the very first award in the year Regular Season no long ago, the Aquamarine Necklace. She will definitely aiming to get two necklace in a row to show her overwhelming strength.
As both with six win each, another win will lead them to the final match, Amethyst necklace match. However, only one of them can win this match. Will the necromancer uses her power to defeat Misaka Mikoto, or will the electromaster shocks Eucliwood Hellscythe?

I only noticed this just now orz
One character can only win one necklace each year, so Mikoto definitely won't be getting two necklaces in a row.

[Kordosa]

Eucliwood Hellscythe (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?) vs Misaka Mikoto…Show

A heavy-weighted match between the two strongest girls in Stella Division, the Necromancer Eucliwood Hellscythe, and the Electromaster Misaka Mikoto.
In this period, both of them get themselves a perfect score, and in overall, Eucliwood Hellscythe is looking good with only one lose while Misaka Mikoto is still maintaining her amazing unbeaten run.
Although Eucliwood Hellscythe had one lose, but she still maintaining her overall performance well. This match is very important to her as she is targeting her third necklace in her ISML career.
In this match, she will face Misaka Mikoto, who she had won all head-to-head matches since ISML 2012.
Misaka Mikoto had won the very first award in the year Regular Season no long ago, the Aquamarine Necklace. She will definitely aiming to get two necklace in a row to show her overwhelming strength.
As both with six win each, another win will lead them to the final match, Amethyst necklace match. However, only one of them can win this match. Will the necromancer uses her power to defeat Misaka Mikoto, or will the electromaster shocks Eucliwood Hellscythe?

I only noticed this just now orz
One character can only win one necklace each year, so Mikoto definitely won't be getting two necklaces in a row.

Thank you for catching that. I've forwarded this issue to Marinara along with a few other things I noticed as well. Hopefully, she'll see it and put things right.

[Marinara]

Fixed! I should've caught the necklace error; Marinara is sometimes stuck in the past ><

[houreki]

Comments for houreki - Chocolat vs. ToukaShow

I agree with Fuijiwara that the preview is a little on the short side, but I think the content is okay. I would suggest a closing sentence that again brings up the comparisons between the two characters and/or asks the voters who they will choose.

Thanks for the advice, too bad that I saw this too late.

[tehyc]

Sorry for the necklace issue! >< I should be more careful next time. ><

[BugH]

Comments for BugH - Shana vs. YamiShow

This cute-midget-looking girl befriends with many earthlings and becomes one with them.

I would probably not used "midget" since that term can seem demeaning. I would use "petite" instead.

thx for your correction

^_^

[Just]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

[RegalStar]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

You can try translating writeups that you like into Chinese, too.

[BugH]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

You can try translating writeups that you like into Chinese, too.

beside english and chinese , can we translate the featured match into other option of language ?

[Jiharo]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

You can try translating writeups that you like into Chinese, too.

beside english and chinese , can we translate the featured match into other option of language ?

I'd like to write one in Japanese but I doubt many can read it >.>

[BugH]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

You can try translating writeups that you like into Chinese, too.

beside english and chinese , can we translate the featured match into other option of language ?

I'd like to write one in Japanese but I doubt many can read it >.>

In Bahasa, allowed ?
:3

[maglor]

Thanks for all the hard work guys ^^ Perhaps I shall also help out more and share the burden too 0.0 Seems like a lot of work here done by only a few people... I'm no good at writing anything, but I can screen passages for errors and grammar.

You can try translating writeups that you like into Chinese, too.

beside english and chinese , can we translate the featured match into other option of language ?

I'd like to write one in Japanese but I doubt many can read it >.>

In Bahasa, allowed ?
:3

Even if that means only 10 people can read it, we will accept translation or write ups any language. Just make sure you get the translations posted in the standard time. If you want you can write your own write up in other language. In the past, there were some match preview I wrote in Korean that had no relation to the English PV because what I wrote was something that was hard to translate into English. Only disadvantage in writing not in English is that you can't get the excellent editing service provided by Marinara-chan.