Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

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Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Marinara » Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:14 am

Featured Match previews/descriptions/teasers for ISML matches are needed every round. Anyone in the community is welcome to contribute in any language. Accepted submissions will be displayed on the front page during the voting round and archived on the site afterwards. You may receive cookies when you submit and/or help edit write-ups.

Archived write-ups can be found here for reference: http://www.internationalsaimoe.com/cont ... _index.php

Guidelines
  • You must be fair to all candidates involved. Write in a neutral voice but keep the reader in suspense, too.
  • NEW: 200-word limit for each write-up, regardless of content or style.
  • Please use the spelling conventions that ISML uses (e.g. with the macrons ō and ū).
  • Because these will be on the front page, appropriateness and quality of writing are extremely important.
  • Please proofread your work from the perspective of a normal visitor; would he or she understand what you wrote?
  • Try to avoid major plot/character spoilers.
  • Unfortunately, not every submission will be featured.
  • And perhaps MOST IMPORTANT, final revisions of the submissions must be turned in, at the latest, 5 hours before the start of each match. If additional edits are done after the cut-off time, please PM Marinara immediately.
Tips for Writers
  • Beware of long, cumbersome sentences. While many of them are technically correct, with their commas and conjunctions, they often sound very awkward and become difficult to follow after some length. Try to be considerate of your readers and vary up your sentences' lengths to create regular patterns. Read your works out loud and consider how each sentence sounds.
  • Be very careful of using the same words over and over (example: "girl"), and of using the same sentence structures repeatedly (ex: "Girl A blah blah blah blah blah. On the other hand, Girl B blah blah blah"). Avoid repetition and get creative with your descriptions of the contestants, while still remaining true to their characters.
  • Most of all, try to have fun with your writing! If you find yourself in a slump and using the same style repeatedly with no vigor to your work, then take a break. Maybe read a blog entry or something elsewhere to freshen up your language, then try to write on a clean page. If you're forcing yourself and not having fun, then stop. Come back for the next round. If you're having trouble with something, let us know here and someone or multiple "someones" is/are bound to jump in and aid you.
Post your writings here, and Staff will review and consider them. If you have just ideas, but not whole write-ups, that's okay, too! We can all help each other come up with the best paragraphs to introduce our matches. Thank you for helping to improve ISML!
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Crisu » Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:25 pm

Round 1 matchups are now available.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Eclairs » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:07 pm

Emerald one Preview Write ups

Tachibana Kanade ( Angel beats! ) vs Kuroi Mato ( Black Rock Shooter ) - Word count = 140
SpoilerShow
The opening round of the Emerald Period couldn’t be any harder for Kuroi Mato. Standing before her is another member of the KanaHana faction: Tachibana Kanade. The young basketball player record in ISML 2011 is currently 11 wins and 17 losses from the 28 matches she has endured since the regular season began. On the other hand, boosted by an immaculate score of 28 wins in the regular season, the quiet Tenshi is currently neck-in-neck with Misaka Mikoto in the race for the Heavenly Tiara. This match theoretically pits the strongest against the weakest members from the KanaHana faction. So, will the cheerful Mato receive the same treatment from the unassuming Kanade, and get blown into smithereens by Kanade’s much fabled Hand-Sonic move or will she manage to spring a surprise, and claim the scalp of her much more heralded opponent instead?
Seraphim ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka ? ) vs Shiina ( Angel Beats! ) - Word count = 150
SpoilerShow
In the Emerald Period opening bout, we will witness a pair of ninjas squaring off against each other. The vampire ninja Seraphim hasn’t been doing well enough to emulate her companion, Eucliwood Hellscythe. This same scenario mirrors the fate of Shiina, as she’s lagging behind the other members from Angel Beats!. With only two wins under her belt, Seraphim’s chance to enter the Postseason has all but evaporated. The solitary win for Shiina also means that she can forget about entering the Postseason as well. But, this will not dim their spirits, as a win for any one of them will be the perfect tonic as well as help them climb the leader board. As the bokkens clash, which one of these two ninjas will emerge victorious? Will Seraphim able to chalk her third win in the regular season, or will Shiina manage to collect her second win instead?
Last Order ( To Aru Majutsu No Index ) vs Aisaka Taiga ( Toradora! ) - Word Count = 195
SpoilerShow
There I was, resting underneath the maple tree, hoping for some respite from the troubles burdening myself. As I scanned across the horizon, I caught a glimpse of a girl, clad in a nifty half skirt, her hazel eyes filled with hopes and dreams. Joyfully, she played several pranks on a guy with white hair. It seemed like, she had no care in the world and all she wanted to do is have fun all day long. As the guy meekly retaliated, I heard him uttering the name “Last Order” to the girl – what kind of name is that? As the pair left the place, my gaze was fixated on another peculiar couple. While the guy looked like a delinquent, his companion can be described as a painting. As the wind rustled through the maiden long silky hair, it swayed gently. Captivated, I couldn’t help but stare at the girl. But suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the guy scream in pain as the girl hit him with a bokken, while shouting out her name – Aisaka Taiga. As I continue to rest, my mind wondered - if given the choice which girl will fit me better, Last Order or Aisaka Taiga ...
Senjougahara Hitagi ( Bakemonogatari ) vs Holo ( Spice and Wolf )
SpoilerShow


< write up process >

< notes >
1 - British English, spellings might differ.
2 - In accordance to the new 200 WC implemented - the amount of wc will be posted near the title of each preview - with me counting the whole name of any particular girl = ONE WORD ( like Eucliwood Hellscythe = 1 word )
3 - Weekend preview


Edits < thanks a lot >
1 - Sunday : 2.40pm Edited Taiga, Sera and Mato previews as per suggested by both Jeffrey-Sama and Arcion. Thanks a lot mates.
2 - Sunday : 2.40pm Final clean up ready for submission .
3 - Thanks memento10 for making the Senjougahara X Holo preview
Last edited by Eclairs on Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:38 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Jeffrey-sama » Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:11 pm

There's a chance that I might not do all five.
Never mind, I actually managed to finish all five. (:
Sanzen'in Nagi (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Gokō Ruri (Kuroneko) (Ore…Show
Another battle between a Kugimiya Knight and a member of the HanaKana faction will take place today as Sanze'nin Nagi and Gokō Ruri square off against each other. After a mediocre Sapphire period where she went 3-4, Nagi hopes to bounce back with a win today in the first round of Emerald. However, her opponent is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Currently sitting comfortably at 6th, Kuroneko had just come off a spectacular Sapphire Period where she managed to defeat 2010 Heavenly Tiara bearer, Akiyama Mio. Will this momentum carry into Emerald, allowing her to cruise past Nagi, or will the blond twin-tail emerge with another win for the Kugimiya Knights?
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
With only two wins each, Huang Lingyin and Shinonono Hōki are obviously not doing as well as they would like in their first ISML season. On top of this, both girls were winless in the Sapphire Period, with Hōki placing last for the period. Despite all this, these two IS pilots look to start with a clean slate as they enter the Emerald Period. Unfortunately, only one of them will be able to walk away victorious. So who will you lend your strength to today? Will China's fang-tan IS representative win your vote with her unrivaled energy or will the model-like body of the bokken-wielding IS pilot captivate your heart?
Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs. Katsura Hinagiku (Hayate no Gotoku…Show
It's the long-awaited battle between two of the most popular Seitokai presidents in the anime world: Sakagami Tomoyo and Katsura Hinagiku. Both these successful girls have now been in ISML for four years now, with each girl claiming superiority over the other in two of these years. Tomoyo was at her peak in ISML 2008 and 2009, posting a 118-8 record in that span. On the other hand, after winning the Heavenly Tiara in 2009, Hina has dominated Tomoyo in ISML 2010 and, now, 2011, obtaining 71 wins in comparison to Tomoyo's 59. With the inevitable end to Tomoyo's ISML career coming nearer and nearer, will Emerald be her opportunity to win one more necklace before she bows out? Or will Hina show that she is the superior Seitokai President by walking out of Emerald 1 with a convincing victory?
Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon) vs. Hirasawa Yui (K-ON!)Show
Sapphire was better. But not much better. After dismal 1-6 Topaz and Amethyst periods, Shiina Mafuyu only managed to squeeze out a 2-5 record for Sapphire. With Emerald now starting, this is her chance to replicate the result of a successful Aquamarine period where she went 4-3. However, the lack of new material will not make it easy for her. HIrasawa Yui, on the other hand, has strung together three consecutive winning periods, going 4-3 in each one of them. Although she is five places away from a spot in the Postseason, Yui is determined to make the Emerald Period a successful one. At the conclusion of this battle between an avid gamer and a sweets addict, which one of these girls will prove to be more moe?
Yui (Angel Beats!) vs. Fujibayashi Kyō (CLANNAD)Show
Both Yui and Fujibayashi Kyō know how to cause pain. Lots of it to be exact. Whether it be performing a German suplex or throwing a dictionary, these two girls do not show any mercy in their assaults. But under these violent fronts are two suffering prisoners, waiting to be freed. For Yui, a childhood of paralysis robbed her of the simple joys in life, from playing the guitar and singing to playing baseball. Kyō, on the other hand, struggles with love, not knowing whether to help her sister or help herself. In the end, these two girls managed to solve their problems and find peace. So, today, which one of them will gain favor in your eyes? Will Yui's high-energy grab your vote or does a tsundere like Kyō interest you more?
Last edited by Jeffrey-sama on Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Aria.H » Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:14 am

Jeffrey-sama wrote:
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
With only two wins each, Huang Lingyin and Shinonono Hōki are obviously not doing as well as they would like in their first ISML season. On top of this, both girls were winless in the Sapphire Period, with Hōki placing last for the period. Despite all this, these two IS pilots look to start with a clean slate as they enter the Emerald Period. Unfortunately, only one of them will be able to walk away victorious. So who will you lend your strength to today? Will China's fang-tan IS representative win your vote with her unrivaled energy or will the model-like body of the bokken-wielding IS pilot captivate your heart?
Translation for Chinese(Simplified)
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
凭借仅有的两次胜利,凰铃音与筱之之箒明显没有在第一次世萌赛季中发挥得很理想。再加上两名女孩都没有在蓝宝石阶段取得任何胜利——箒甚至只得了最后一名。但尽管如此,这两名IS操纵者期待着从零开始当比赛进入了绿宝石阶段。然而不幸的是,只有她们之中的一个能够凯旋离去。今天你将会把你的力量借于谁?是精力充沛的中国的小虎牙代表生还是有着模特般身材的木刀少女?
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by fujibayashi » Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:24 pm

Aria.H wrote:
Jeffrey-sama wrote:
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
With only two wins each, Huang Lingyin and Shinonono Hōki are obviously not doing as well as they would like in their first ISML season. On top of this, both girls were winless in the Sapphire Period, with Hōki placing last for the period. Despite all this, these two IS pilots look to start with a clean slate as they enter the Emerald Period. Unfortunately, only one of them will be able to walk away victorious. So who will you lend your strength to today? Will China's fang-tan IS representative win your vote with her unrivaled energy or will the model-like body of the bokken-wielding IS pilot captivate your heart?
Translation for Chinese(Simplified)
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
凭借仅有的两次胜利,凰铃音与筱之之箒明显没有在第一次世萌赛季中发挥得很理想。再加上两名女孩都没有在蓝宝石阶段取得任何胜利——箒甚至只得了最后一名。但尽管如此,这两名IS操纵者期待着从零开始当比赛进入了绿宝石阶段。然而不幸的是,只有她们之中的一个能够凯旋离去。今天你将会把你的力量借于谁?是精力充沛的中国的小虎牙代表生还是有着模特般身材的木刀少女?

Translation for Traditional Chinese
凰铃音(IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs.筱之之箒 (IS <Infinite Stratos>)Show
憑藉著僅僅的兩次勝利,凰鈴音與筱之之箒在第一次參與世界最萌(ISML)賽季中並沒有明顯將自身實力發揮得很理想。再加上兩名女孩都沒有從藍寶石階段取得任何一場勝利——而箒甚至只得了最後一名。儘管如此,眼下比賽已進入綠寶石階段,這兩名IS操縱者將重新出發。然而不幸的是,兩位IS操縱者只有一位能夠凱旋而歸。今天,你將會把力量借給誰?是精力充沛,有著小虎牙的中國代表生會贏得妳重要的一票?還是有著模特般身材,揮舞著木刀的IS操縱者將擄獲妳的心?
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Jeffrey-sama » Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:37 pm

Edits
Red indicates corrections
Blue indicates suggestions
Green indicates that rewording may be necessary
Eclairs wrote:Tachibana Kanade (Angel Beats!) vs Kuroi Mato (Black Rock Shooter)
SpoilerShow
The opening round of the Emerald Period couldn’t be any harder for Kuroi Mato. Standing before her is another member of the KanaHana faction: Tachibana Kanade. The young basketball player's record in ISML 2011 is currently reads 11 wins and 17 losses from the 28 matches she has endured since the regular season has began. On the other hand, boosted by an immaculate score of 28 wins in the regular season, the quiet Tenshi is currently neck-in-neck with Misaka Mikoto in the race for the Heavenly Tiara. This match theoretically pits the strongest and weakest member of the KanaHana faction against each other. So, will the cheerful Mato receive the same treatment from the unassuming Kanade, and get blown into smithereens by Kanade’s much fabled Hand-Sonic move or will she manage to spring a surprise, and claim the scalp of her much more heralded opponent instead?
- the Emerald Period
- member of
- A semi-colon doesn't work since 'Tachibana Kanade' is not a sentence. Use a colon instead.
- 'basketballer's' sounds weird; use 'basketball player's' instead
- Instead of 'reads', use 'is currently'
- Removed 'has' since it doesn't match the past tense used in the sentence
- began
- the regular season
- Capitalize 'Tenshi' since that's her nickname
- neck-in-neck
- 'neck-in-neck' refers to a race/competition of some sort so I changed the 'on top of the leader board' to 'in the race for the Heavenly Tiara'
- Switched 'theoretically' and 'pits' for better flow
- 'the strongest and weakest member of the KanaHana faction against each other' sounds better
- Changed 'from' to 'by'
- she manage
Eclairs wrote:Seraphim (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?) vs Shiina (Angel Beats!)
SpoilerShow
In the Emerald Period opening bout we will witness a pair of ninjas squaring off against each other. The vampire ninja Seraphim hasn’t been doing well enough to emulate her companion, Eucliwood Hellscythe. This same scenario mirrors the fate of Shiina, as she’s lagging behind the other members from Angel Beats!. With only two wins under her belt, Seraphim’s chance to enter the Postseason shootout has all but evaporated. The solitary win for Shiina also means that she can forget about entering the Postseason as well. But, this will not dim their spirits, as a win for any one of them will be the perfect tonic as well as help them climb the leader board. As the creaking sound of bokkens clashing, which one of these two ninjas will emerge victorious? Will Seraphim able to chalk her third win in the regular season, or will Shiina manage to collect her second win instead?
- In the Emerald Period
- Who will be witness? Either a 'we' or 'you' would work here. Personally, I think a 'we' sounds better. 'we will witness'
- squaring off against
- 'Postseason' not 'post season'
- I would recommend taking out 'shootout' as it may give readers the wrong idea about DE.
- means
- spirits - the two of them is plural
- will be - not past tense since it hasn't happened yet
- The part in green just doesn't sound right...
- 'these two' to be specific
Eclairs wrote:Last Order (To Aru Majutsu No Index) vs Aisaka Taiga (Toradora!)
SpoilerShow
There I was, resting underneath the maple tree, hoping for some respite from the troubles burdening myself. As I scanned the horizon, I caught a glimpse of a girl, clad in a nifty half skirt, her eyes short hazel eyes filled with hopes and dreams. Joyfully, she played several pranks on a guy with white hair. It seemed like, she had no care in the world and all she wanted to do is have fun all day long. As the guy meekly retaliated, I heard him uttering the name “Last Order” to the girl – what kind of name is that? As the pair left the place, my gaze was fixated on another peculiar couple. While the guy looked like a delinquent, his companion can be described as a painting. As the wind rustled through the maiden's hair, it swayed gently. Captivated, I couldn’t help but stare at the girl. But suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the guy screamed in pain as the girl hit him with a bokken, while shouting out her name – Aisaka Taiga. As I continue to rest, my mind wondered which girl will fit me better, Last Order or Aisaka Taiga...
- I suggest 'scanned the horizon'
- clad in
- Remove the extra 'eyes'
- pranks on a guy
- in the world
- fixated on
- Wind doesn't rustle through people. Should be 'wind rustled through the maiden's hair, it swayed gently.'
- screamed
- An ellipsis is three dots (...)
Momento10 wrote:Victorique de Blois (GOSICK) vs. Saber (Fate/stay night)
SpoilerShow
With just two more periods to go, the race to the Top 16 heightens for girls near the borderline of the Top 16 mark. Currently at #18, Victorique be Blois looks to have another bountiful period in Emerald after an impressive run in Sapphire. As long as Victorique continues to pace herself like this, she may very likely obtain a spot up there when everything is said and done. Hopefully, that does not mean that Saber will have to lose her spot just to have her in it. At a shaky area of #15 Saber hopes to remain on top until the regular season is over. Any simple mistake that she makes may jeopardize her chances of returning to the Postseason once more. With multiple contestants eager to take Saber's place, it is up to her to defend her spot until the can. Can the one who wields Excalibur make her way to the Postseason once more, or will the one who controls the Wellspring of Wisdom find her way to make it to the top?
- 'will have' because it hasn't happened yet
- the regular season
- the Postseason
- What does 'until the can' mean? Do you perhaps mean 'until the end' or something similar?
- make her way
- the Postseason
Last edited by Jeffrey-sama on Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:44 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Bastion » Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:02 pm

Eclairs wrote:Tachibana Kanade ( Angel beats! ) vs Kuroi Mato ( Black Rock Shooter ) - Word count = 137
SpoilerShow
The opening round of Emerald phase couldn’t be any harder for Kuroi Mato. Standing before her is another member from the KanaHana faction; Tachibana Kanade. The young basketballer’s record in ISML 2011 currently reads 11 wins and 17 losses from the 28 matches she has endured since the regular season has begun. On the other hand, boosted by an immaculate score of 28 wins in regular season, the quiet tenshi is currently neck-to-neck with Misaka Mikoto on top of the leader board. This match pits theoretically the strongest against the weakest members from the KanaHana faction. So, will the cheerful Mato receive the same treatment from the unassuming Kanade, and get blown into smithereens from Kanade’s much fabled Hand-Sonic move or will her manage to spring a surprise, and claim the scalp of her much more heralded opponent instead?
...or will her manage to spring a surprise...
... or will she manage to spring a surprise...
Eclairs wrote:Seraphim ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka ? ) vs Shiina ( Angel Beats! ) - Word count = 152
Only suggestion on this one (mostly because you have the WC space), seperate the contraction into it's two words. I think it would sound better.
Eclairs wrote:Last Order ( To Aru Majutsu No Index ) vs Aisaka Taiga ( Toradora! ) - Word Count = 193
SpoilerShow
There I was, resting underneath the maple tree, hoping for some respite from the troubles burdening myself. As I gazed across the horizon, I caught a glimpse of a girl, clad with a nifty half skirt, her eyes short hazel eyes filled with hopes and dreams. Joyfully, she played several pranks to a guy with white hair. It seemed like, she had no care to the world and all she wanted to do is have fun all day long. As the guy meekly retaliated, I heard him uttering the name “Last Order” to the girl – what kind of name is that? As the pair left the place, my gaze was fixated to another peculiar couple. While the guy looked like a delinquent, his companion can be described as a painting. As the wind rustled through the maiden, her long hair swayed gently. Captivated, I couldn’t help but stare at the girl. But suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the guy screamed in pain as the girl hit him with a bokken, while shouting out her name – Aisaka Taiga. As I continue to rest, my mind wondered which girl will fit me better, Last Order or Aisaka Taiga...
[/quote]

As the wind rustled through the maiden, her long hair gently
Can I suggest a little bit of rewrite? (The human body is rather opaque to wind :p)
As the wind rustled by the maiden, her long hair swayed gently
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Momento10 » Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:23 am

Kinomoto Sakura (Cardcaptor Sakura) vs. Sakurazaki Setsuna (Mahō Sensei Negima!)
SpoilerShow
The will to protect something that they cherish dearly. So strong is that feeling that one would charter through multiple worlds, reach down to the depths of the underworld, even going as far as to sacrifice one's own life just to protect that special someone and what they believe is right. It does not matter what is in front of them. Climbing an obstacle greater than themselves and achieving that victory is worth nothing if they fail to protect those in need of it. To have that person in her arms, to see that person smile, is priceless. That is the true treasure. This is not their duty; they chose to take this path, even if it consists of seeing many people suffer before their eyes. A magical girl. A half-demon. Everything will be all right. They speak those magical words to themselves and soar...
Victorique de Blois (GOSICK) vs. Saber (Fate/stay night)
SpoilerShow
With just two more periods to go, the race to the Top 16 heightens for girls near the borderline of the Top 16 mark. Currently at #18, Victorique be Blois looks to have another bountiful period in Emerald after an impressive run in Sapphire. As long as Victorique continues to pace herself like this, she may very likely obtain a spot up there when everything is said and done. Hopefully, that does not mean that Saber will have to lose her spot just to have her in it. At a shaky area of #15 Saber hopes to remain on top until the regular season is over. Any simple mistake that she makes may jeopardize her chances of returning to the Postseason once more. With multiple contestants eager to take Saber's place, it is up to her to defend her spot until the end. Can the one who wields Excalibur make her way to the Postseason once more, or will the one who controls the Wellspring of Wisdom find her way to make it to the top?
Kōsaka Kirino (Ore no Imōto) vs. Sengoku Nadeko (Bakemonogatari)
SpoilerShow
Kōsaka Kirino and Sengoku Nadeko will compete it what should be a high-paced match. With Kirino having high grades, great athletic ability, and working as a model, it is hard to guess that she also plays eroge in her spare time. Kirino fears that she may not have much friends if they know about her dirty little secret. Even so, she has managed to hang on with those who are dear to her and willing to support her despite her taste. In contrast, Nadeko is a shy and soft-spoken girl, usually stopping herself before saying what is on her mind. While she attempts to show her strong will, she still needs someone besides her whenever she is down and in dire need of help. When things cannot get any worse, Nadeko would be the first one to try to cheer everyone up, even if her jokes are not funny. Which of these two girls would the voters prefer to have as their "little sister?"
Senjōgahara Hitagi (Bakemonogatari) vs. Holo (Spice and Wolf)
SpoilerShow
Knowledge is power, and these two know how to put their knowledge into good use. Senjōgahara Hitagi always makes sure that she keeps her profile low so that no one knows her secret. If anyone finds out she is very light, she immediately contacts the person when he or she is alone. Failing to heed her words may cause physiological damage, but she is willing to go that far to hide her own insecurities. Having lived several hundred years, it is of no wonder that some people call her "The Wise Wolf." Holo seems to know many tricks of trade, providing her way of giving advice without the receiver knowing it. As shrewd as she may be, even someone of her caliber is looking for someone to fill the loneliness within her heart. It is going to take more than intelligence to get out of this one alive. When everything is settled, which of these two girls will come out on top?
Last edited by Momento10 on Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by fujibayashi » Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:41 am

Jeffrey-sama wrote:There's a chance that I might not do all five.
Never mind, I actually managed to finish all five. (:
Sanzen'in Nagi (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Gokō Ruri (Kuroneko) (Ore…Show
Another battle between a Kugimiya Knight and a member of the HanaKana faction will take place today as Sanze'nin Nagi and Gokō Ruri square off against each other. After a mediocre Sapphire period where she went 3-4, Nagi hopes to bounce back with a win today in the first round of Emerald. However, her opponent is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Currently sitting comfortably at 6th, Kuroneko had just come off a spectacular Sapphire Period where she managed to defeat 2010 Heavenly Tiara bearer, Akiyama Mio. Will this momentum carry into Emerald, allowing her to cruise past Nagi, or will the blond twin-tail emerge with another win for the Kugimiya Knights?
Translation for Traditional Chinese
三千院凪(旋風管家) vs. 五更琉璃(黑貓) (我的妹妹哪有這麼可愛!)Show
另一場釘宮理惠騎士與花澤香菜派系之間的戰役將在今天舉行,三千院凪和五更琉璃互相槓上。凪,渡過一個平淡的3勝4敗藍寶石賽程,她希望在綠寶石賽程的第一天贏得勝利來回穩自己的地位。然而,她的對手是一個絕對不可小看的勢力。目前,穩坐舒適的第六名,黑貓剛剛戴上了一個壯麗的藍寶石項鍊,她成功地戰勝2010世界萌主,秋山澪。繼續將這鋒頭延續到綠寶石賽程,她將輕鬆地碾壓超越凪,或是另一位釘宮理惠騎士--金髮雙馬尾贏得這場比賽?
Jeffrey-sama wrote:
Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs. Katsura Hinagiku (Hayate no Gotoku…Show
It's the long-awaited battle between two of the most popular Seitokai presidents in the anime world: Sakagami Tomoyo and Katsura Hinagiku. Both these successful girls have now been in ISML for four years now, with each girl claiming superiority over the other in two of these years. Tomoyo was at her peak in ISML 2008 and 2009, posting a 118-8 record in that span. On the other hand, after winning the Heavenly Tiara in 2009, Hina has dominated Tomoyo in ISML 2010 and, now, 2011, obtaining 71 wins in comparison to Tomoyo's 59. With the inevitable end to Tomoyo's ISML career coming nearer and nearer, will Emerald be her opportunity to win one more necklace before she bows out? Or will Hina show that she is the superior Seitokai President by walking out of Emerald 1 with a convincing victory?
Translation for Traditional Chinese
坂上智代(CLANNAD) vs.桂雛菊 (旋風管家)Show
這是期待已久的戰役,兩個在動漫世界裡最有人氣的學生會長:坂上智代和桂雛菊。這兩個成功的女孩現在已經參與世界最萌(ISML)四年了,兩個女孩皆自稱在這些年裡擁有比其他選手更多的優勢。智代在2008年和2009世界最萌(ISML)登上最高鋒,繳出一張擴越兩年賽季118勝8敗的漂亮成績。另一方面,在2009年摘下高貴的后冠,與智代在世界最萌(ISML)2010年的對決中佔據了主導地位,現在,2011年,取得71勝的雛菊對上智代的59勝。不可避免的,智代的世界最萌(ISML)生涯終章將越來越近,綠寶石將會是她鞠躬下台前贏得的另外一條項鍊?或雛菊將表明,她將以超級學生會主席身分邁步贏得綠寶石第一戰?

Jeffrey-sama wrote:
Yui (Angel Beats!) vs. Fujibayashi Kyō (CLANNAD)Show
Both Yui and Fujibayashi Kyō know how to cause pain. Lots of it to be exact. Whether it be performing a German suplex or throwing a dictionary, these two girls do not show any mercy in their assaults. But under these violent fronts are two suffering prisoners, waiting to be freed. For Yui, a childhood of paralysis robbed her of the simple joys in life, from playing the guitar and singing to playing baseball. Kyō, on the other hand, struggles with love, not knowing whether to help her sister or help herself. In the end, these two girls managed to solve their problems and find peace. So, today, which one of them will gain favor in your eyes? Will Yui's high-energy grab your vote or does a tsundere like Kyō interest you more?
Translation for Traditional Chinese
唯 (Angel Beats!) vs. 藤林杏 (CLANNAD)Show
唯和藤林杏都知道如何製造傷痛。兩位女孩的攻擊很多都是準確的。無論是執行德國抱摔或是扔一本厚重字典,這兩個女孩在發動攻擊時將不顯露任何的憐憫。但在這些暴力表象之下禁錮著兩個痛苦的靈魂,等待著被人釋放。對於唯,童年癱瘓搶奪了她彈吉他、唱歌和打棒球的簡單快樂生活。另一方面,杏,在愛情與親情間掙扎,不知道是否要幫助她的妹妹或幫助自己贏得同樣一份愛戀。最後,這兩個女孩設法解決他們的問題並找到和平之道。所以,今天,這兩人哪位將會獲得妳的贊同?會是唯的精力充沛抓住你的一票,或傲嬌點範--杏會使妳更加感興趣呢?
Momento10 wrote:Kinomoto Sakura (Cardcaptor Sakura) vs. Sakurazaki Setsuna (Mahō Sensei Negima!)
SpoilerShow
The will to protect something that they cherish dearly. So strong is that feeling that one would charter through multiple worlds, reach down to the depths of the underworld, even going as far as to sacrifice one's own life just to protect that special someone and what they believe is right. It does not matter what is in front of them. Climbing an obstacle greater than themselves and achieving that victory is worth nothing if they fail to protect those in need of it. To have that person in her arms, to see that person smile, is priceless. That is the true treasure. This is not their duty; they chose to take this path, even if it consists of seeing many people suffer before their eyes. A magical girl. A half-demon. Everything will be all right. They speak those magical words to themselves and soar...
Translation for Traditional Chinese
木之本櫻 (庫洛魔法使) vs.櫻咲剎那 (魔法老師!)Show
想要保護她們最為珍惜的東西,強大力量是多種世界的共通方法,降到最深的地下社會,甚至會犧牲自己的生命,只是為了保護對自己重要的人以及她們的正義。在她們面前所有的障礙都不要緊。如果她們不能保護那些需要的人,那她征服障礙比起自己和榮耀更為重要。有一個特別的人在她的懷裡受呵護著,看到這個特別的人的笑容,是無價的、這是真正的寶藏。這不是她們的責任,但她們選擇了走上這條道路,即使它包含了許多人在她們眼前受傷。一位是神奇的魔法少女--木之本櫻,一個擁有天使般潔白翅膀的半人半鳥--櫻咲剎那。一切都會往好的方向發展。她們唸出祝福自己咒語然後飛騰高升。
Last edited by Marinara on Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Momo » Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:45 am

Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <In…Show
Ichika might be clueless when it comes to love, but neither of his childhood friends are nearly so oblivious. The moment these two lovestruck pilots set eyes on one another, they knew that one day, they would inevitably face each other in an ultimate showdown. That day is today. That battle is now. Both girls have endured hardship and difficulty on their way to this final battleground, but equipped with their state-of-the-art IS, both are ready to show everyone their inner strength and determination, for victory, and for the heart of their beloved. China has sent their best-of-the-best, the ever-cheerful genki-girl Huang Lingyin, to face Japan's national kendo champion, tall, dark, and bishōjo Shinonono Hōki. Will the bright smile of the cheeky fang-tan prove there's far more to this challenger than meets the eye? Or will Hōki's graceful beauty steal the show?

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Emerald Round 1 Edits

Post by Marinara » Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:31 am

Round 1 submissions closed. If you have any further submissions/translations/edits, please PM them to me.

[spoiler=Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Shinonono Hōki (IS <Infinite Stratos>)
凰铃音(IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs.筱之之箒 (IS <Infinite Stratos>)]Ichika might be clueless when it comes to love, but neither of his childhood friends are nearly so oblivious. The moment these two, lovestruck pilots set eyes on one another, they knew that one day, they would inevitably face each other in an ultimate showdown. That day is today. That battle is now. Both girls have endured hardship and difficulty on their way to this final battleground, but equipped with their state-of-the-art IS, both are ready to show everyone their inner strengths and determinations for victory, and for the heart of their beloved. China has sent their best-of-the-best, the ever-cheerful genki-girl, Huang Lingyin, to face Japan's national kendo champion, tall, dark, and bishōjo, Shinonono Hōki. Will the bright smile of the cheeky fang-tan prove there's far more to this challenger than meets the eye? Or, will Hōki's graceful beauty steal the show?[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Yui (Angel Beats!) vs. Fujibayashi Kyō (CLANNAD)
唯 (Angel Beats!) vs. 藤林杏 (CLANNAD)]Both Yui and Fujibayashi Kyō know how to cause pain. Lots of it, to be exact. Whether it be performing a German suplex or throwing a dictionary, these two girls do not show any mercy in their assaults. But under these violent fronts are two, suffering prisoners, waiting to be freed. For Yui, a childhood of paralysis robbed her of the simple joys in life, from playing the guitar and singing, to playing baseball. Kyō, on the other hand, struggles with love, not knowing whether to help her sister or help herself. In the end, these two girls managed to solve their problems and find peace. So, today, which one of them will gain favor in your eyes? Will Yui's high energy grab your vote, or does a tsundere like Kyō interest you more?

唯和藤林杏都知道如何製造傷痛。兩位女孩的攻擊很多都是準確的。無論是執行德國抱摔或是扔一本厚重字典,這兩個女孩在發動攻擊時將不顯露任何的憐憫。但在 這些暴力表象之下禁錮著兩個痛苦的靈魂,等待著被人釋放。對於唯,童年癱瘓搶奪了她彈吉他、唱歌和打棒球的簡單快樂生活。另一方面,杏,在愛情與親情間掙 扎,不知道是否要幫助她的妹妹或幫助自己贏得同樣一份愛戀。最後,這兩個女孩設法解決他們的問題並找到和平之道。所以,今天,這兩人哪位將會獲得妳的贊 同?會是唯的精力充沛抓住你的一票,或傲嬌點範--杏會使妳更加感興趣呢?[/spoiler]
Tachibana Kanade (Angel Beats!) vs. Kuroi Mato (Black ★ Rock Sho…Show
The opening round of the Emerald Period couldn’t be any harder for Kuroi Mato. Standing before her is another member of the HanaKana faction: Tachibana Kanade. The young basketball player’s record in ISML 2011 is currently 11 wins and 17 losses from the 28 matches she has endured since the Regular Season began. On the other hand, boosted by an immaculate score of 28 wins, the quiet Tenshi is currently neck-to-neck with Misaka Mikoto in the race for the Heavenly Tiara. This match theoretically pits the strongest against the weakest members from the HanaKana faction. So, will the cheerful Mato receive the same treatment from the unassuming Kanade, and get blown into smithereens by her much-fabled Hand-Sonic move, or will she manage to spring a surprise, and claim the scalp of her much more heralded opponent instead?
Seraphim (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?) vs. Shiina (Angel Beats!)Show
In the Emerald Period’s opening bout, we witness a pair of ninjas squaring off against each other. The vampire ninja, Seraphim, hasn’t been doing well enough to emulate her companion, Eucliwood Hellscythe. This same scenario mirrors the fate of Shiina, as she’s lagging behind the other members from Angel Beats! With only two wins under her belt, Seraphim’s chance to enter the Postseason has all but evaporated. The solitary win for Shiina also means that she can forget about entering the Postseason. But, this will not dim their spirits, as a win for any one of them will be the perfect tonic, as well as help them climb the leader board. As the bokken clash, which one of these two ninjas will emerge victorious? Will Seraphim be able to chalk up her third win in the Regular Season, or will Shiina manage to collect her second win, instead?
Senjōgahara Hitagi (Bakemonogatari) vs. Holo (Spice and Wolf)Show
Knowledge is power, and these two know how to put their knowledge to good use. Senjōgahara Hitagi always makes sure that she keeps her profile low so that no one discovers her secret. If anyone finds out, she immediately contacts the person when he or she is alone. Failing to heed her words may cause physiological damage, but she is willing to go that far to hide her own insecurities. Having lived several hundred years, it is no wonder that some people call Holo the “Wise Wolf." She seems to know the tricks of various trades, providing her a way of giving advice without the receiver knowing it. As shrewd as Holo may be, even someone of her caliber looks for someone to fill the loneliness within her heart. It is going to take more than intelligence to get out of this one alive. When everything is settled, which of these two girls will come out on top?
Last Order (Toaru Majutsu no Index) vs. Aisaka Taiga (Toradora!)Show
There I was, resting underneath the maple tree, hoping for some respite from the troubles burdening me. As I scanned the horizon, I caught a glimpse of a girl clad in a nifty half skirt, her hazel eyes filled with hopes and dreams. Joyfully, she played several pranks on a guy with white hair. It seemed like she had no care in the world and that all she wanted to do was have fun all day long. As the guy meekly retaliated, I heard him utter the name, “Last Order,” to the girl—what kind of name is that? As the pair left, my gaze fixated on another peculiar couple. While the guy looked like a delinquent, his companion could be described as a painting. As the wind rustled through the maiden’s long, silky hair, it swayed gently. Captivated, I couldn’t help but stare at the girl. But suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the guy scream out her name in pain as the girl hit him with a bokken—“Aisaka Taiga.” As I continued to rest, my mind wondered, if given the choice of which girl would fit me better, would it be Last Order or Aisaka Taiga...
Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon) vs. Hirasawa Yui (K-ON!)Show
Sapphire was better. But, not much better. After dismal 1-6 Topaz and Amethyst Periods, Shiina Mafuyu only managed to squeeze out a 2-5 record for Sapphire. With Emerald now starting, this is her chance to replicate the result of a successful Aquamarine period where she went 4-3. However, the lack of new material will not make it easy for her. HIrasawa Yui, on the other hand, has strung together three consecutive winning periods, going 4-3 in each one of them. Although she is five places away from a spot in the Postseason, Yui is determined to make the Emerald Period a successful one. At the conclusion of this battle between an avid gamer and a sweets addict, which one of these girls will prove to be more moe?
Victorique de Blois (GOSICK) vs. Saber (Fate/stay night)Show
With just two more periods to go, the race to the Top 16 heightens for girls near the borderline. Currently at #18, Victorique be Blois looks to have another bountiful period in Emerald after an impressive run in Sapphire. As long as Victorique continues to pace herself like this, she may very likely obtain a spot up there when everything is said and done. Hopefully, that does not mean that Saber will have to lose her spot just to let her in. At a shaky area of #15, Saber hopes to remain on top until the Regular Season is over. Any simple mistake that she makes may jeopardize her chances of returning to the Postseason once more. With multiple contestants eager to take Saber's place, it is up to her to defend her spot until the end. Can the one who wields the sword make her way to the Postseason once more, or will the one who controls the Wellspring of Wisdom find her way and make it to the top?
[spoiler=Sanzen'in Nagi (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Gokō Ruri (Kuroneko) (Ore no Imōto)
三千院凪(旋風管家) vs. 五更琉璃(黑貓) (我的妹妹哪有這麼可愛!)]Another battle between a Kugimiya Knight and a member of the HanaKana faction will take place today as Sanze'nin Nagi and Gokō Ruri square off against each other. After a mediocre Sapphire Period, where she went 3-4, Nagi hopes to bounce back with a win today in the first round of Emerald. However, her opponent is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Currently sitting comfortably at 6th, Kuroneko had just come off a spectacular Sapphire Period, where she managed to defeat 2010 Heavenly Tiara bearer, Akiyama Mio. Will this momentum carry into Emerald, allowing her to cruise past Nagi, or will the blond twin-tail emerge with another win for the Kugimiya Knights?

另一場釘宮理惠騎士與花澤香菜派系之間的戰役將在今天舉行,三千院凪和五更琉璃互相槓上。凪,渡過一個平淡的3勝4敗藍寶石賽程,她希望在綠寶石賽程的第 一天贏得勝利來回穩自己的地位。然而,她的對手是一個絕對不可小看的勢力。目前,穩坐舒適的第六名,黑貓剛剛戴上了一個壯麗的藍寶石項鍊,她成功地戰勝 2010世界萌主,秋山澪。繼續將這鋒頭延續到綠寶石賽程,她將輕鬆地碾壓超越凪,或是另一位釘宮理惠騎士--金髮雙馬尾贏得這場比賽?[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs. Katsura Hinagiku (Hayate no Gotoku!)
坂上智代(CLANNAD) vs.桂雛菊 (旋風管家)]It's the long-awaited battle between two of the most popular Seitokai presidents in the anime world: Sakagami Tomoyo and Katsura Hinagiku. Both of these successful girls have now been in ISML for four years now, with each girl claiming superiority over the other in two of these years. Tomoyo was at her peak in ISML 2008 and 2009, posting a 118-8 record in that span. On the other hand, after winning the Heavenly Tiara in 2009, Hina has dominated Tomoyo in ISML 2010 and, now, 2011, obtaining 71 wins in comparison to Tomoyo's 59. With the possible end to Tomoyo's ISML career coming nearer and nearer, will Emerald be her opportunity to win one more necklace before she bows out? Or, will Hina show that she is the superior Seitokai president by walking out of Emerald Round 1 with a convincing victory?

這是期待已久的戰役,兩個在動漫世界裡最有人氣的學生會長:坂上智代和桂雛菊。這兩個成功的女孩現在已經參與世界最萌(ISML)四年了,兩個女孩皆自稱 在這些年裡擁有比其他選手更多的優勢。智代在2008年和2009世界最萌(ISML)登上最高鋒,繳出一張擴越兩年賽季118勝8敗的漂亮成績。另一方 面,在2009年摘下高貴的后冠,與智代在世界最萌(ISML)2010年的對決中佔據了主導地位,現在,2011年,取得71勝的雛菊對上智代的59 勝。不可避免的,智代的世界最萌(ISML)生涯終章將越來越近,綠寶石將會是她鞠躬下台前贏得的另外一條項鍊?或雛菊將表明,她將以超級學生會主席身分 邁步贏得綠寶石第一戰?[/spoiler]
Kōsaka Kirino (Ore no Imōto) vs. Sengoku Nadeko (Bakemonogatari)Show
Kōsaka Kirino and Sengoku Nadeko compete in what should be a high-paced match. With Kirino’s high grades, great athletic ability, and work as a model, it is hard to guess that she also plays eroge in her spare time. Kirino feared that she would lose her friends if they were to learn about her dirty, little secret. Even so, she managed to hang on to those who are dear to her and who are willing to support her, despite her taste. In contrast, Nadeko is a shy and soft-spoken girl, who usually stops herself before she says what is on her mind. While she attempts to show her strong will, she still needs someone beside her whenever she is down and in dire need of help. When things cannot get any worse, Nadeko is the first to try to cheer everyone up, even if her jokes are not funny. Which of these two girls will the voters prefer to have as their "little sister?"
[spoiler=Kinomoto Sakura (Cardcaptor Sakura) vs. Sakurazaki Setsuna (Mahō Sensei Negima!)
木之本櫻 (庫洛魔法使) vs.櫻咲剎那 (魔法老師!)]The will to protect something that is cherished dearly. So strong is that feeling that one will charter through multiple worlds, reach down to the depths of the underworld, and even go as far as sacrificing one's own life just to protect that special someone and what one believes is right. It does not matter what is in front of them. Climbing an obstacle greater than themselves and achieving victory is worth nothing if they fail to protect those in need of it. To have those people in her arms, to see those people smile, is priceless. That is the true treasure. This is not their duty; they chose to take this path, even if it consists of seeing many people suffer before their eyes. A magical girl. A half-demon. Everything will be all right. They speak those magical words to themselves and soar...

想要保護她們最為珍惜的東西,強大力量是多種世界的共通方法,降到最深的地下社會,甚至會犧牲自己的生命,只是為了保護對自己重要的人以及她們的正義。在 她們面前所有的障礙都不要緊。如果她們不能保護那些需要的人,那她征服障礙比起自己和榮耀更為重要。有一個特別的人在她的懷裡受呵護著,看到這個特別的人 的笑容,是無價的、這是真正的寶藏。這不是她們的責任,但她們選擇了走上這條道路,即使它包含了許多人在她們眼前受傷。一位是神奇的魔法少女--木之本 櫻,一個擁有天使般潔白翅膀的半人半鳥--櫻咲剎那。一切都會往好的方向發展。她們唸出祝福自己咒語然後飛騰高升。[/spoiler]
Thanks to Eclairs, Jeffrey-sama, Momento10, and Momokutenshi for contributing today's match previews.
Translations by Aria.H and fujibayashi (Chinese).
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Eclairs » Mon Aug 01, 2011 4:15 pm

Emerald Round 2 Write up :

Aragaki Ayase ( Ore no Imōto ) vs Misaka Mikoto ( To Aru Majutsu no Index) : WC = 158 words
SpoilerShow
Keeping a graceful social outlook is a must for most girls and both Aragaki Ayase and Misaka Mikoto are no different. Projecting an image of an honour student – good in academics and working as a part time model - taught Ayase the path she honestly feels she must follow. She wants her circle of friends to lead the lives she envisions, sometimes much to their chagrin. On the other hand, attending the Tokiwadai Middle School has given Mikoto an ‘ojōsama’ vibe. As the model student in the land of the ojōsamas’ , this maiden should be the perfect lady – at least that’s what the surrounding people would deduce. Instead, tucked underneath this beautiful facade is an unladylike girl – hot-headed and headstrong. Very little can separate these two beauties in the outsider’s point of view, but underneath everything, will the honest projection from Aragaki Ayase sway the voter to her, or will the fabricated outlook of Misaka Mikoto have a stronger pulling power?
Haruna ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka? ) vs Yui ( Angel Beats! ) : WC = 163 words
SpoilerShow
In the world of moe, there are a lot of features and archetypes adored by the anime fans. One of these said traits is the fang-tan – where the character is being potrayed of having a cute feline teeth, protruding out from her mouth even when closed. In one of the Emerald round two match ups, a pair of fang-tans; Haruna and Yui, will square off against each other. Several similarities can be drawn between these two maidens. They are both ‘genki’ girls, and most often than not, they are both a bit too high-strung compared to the other characters in their respective shows. Smiles are almost permanently etched on their faces, and their mere presence could lift the doom and gloom atmosphere gripping either the Aikawa household or the SSS brigade meeting room. Will the Misteltainn-armed Haruna able to beat her opponent; or will the guitars of Yui sway the match the other way in this ‘Battle of the Fang-tans’ ?
Kasugano Sora ( Yasuga no Sora ) vs Eucliwood Hellsycthe ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka? ) : WC = 173 words
SpoilerShow
Most people nowadays devalue the meaning of the two words – love and happiness. But for both Kasugano Sora and Eucliwood Hellsycthe, these two words mean the whole world to them. With a multitude of tragedies having befallen these two long haired maidens, their inner core has been shattered to the point of them shunning society. They dont' do this to spite the others, but to protect their fragile hearts. Sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss of loneliness, they would have been consumed by the darkness engulfing them, but when it mattered the most, rays of warmth and hope shone upon them from the most unlikely of sources. Cherished and protected by her twin brother, Sora finally managed to creep away from the pain and suffering that had accompanied her since birth. Eucliwood, on the other hand managed to confront the darkness that engulfed her with the help of her new found companions. As these two girls grasp their new found peace and happiness, which one will achieve greater happiness : Kasugano Sora or Eucliwood Hellscythe ?
Charlotte Dunois ( IS <Infinite Stratos> ) vs Index L. Prohibitorum ( To Aru Majutsu no Index ) : WC - 154 words
SpoilerShow
From afar, Charlotte Dunois and Index L. Prohibitorum look like any ordinary girl. Sweet, cheerful, easy going as well as love-struck, would make the onlookers think that think that the lives of these two maidens are perfect. But only a handful of people know the truth about these two bubbly girls. After her mother’s death, Charlotte’s hope of living peacefully in the countryside of France was shattered. To compound her problem, she was then sent to Japan under a secret ploy by her father’s company; under the pretext of being the second male IS pilot in the world. As for Index, she had been forced to remember 103000 grimoires, making her a sought after entity in the Magical circle. To make sure she is controllable, the Necessarius Church scheduled a memory purge each year, under the guise of keeping her safe from brain overloads. Which one of these two maiden exhibits a stronger will-power: Charlotte Dunois or Index L. Prohibitorum?
notes
1 - In accordance to the 200 WC limit, WC will be posted near the topic for easy access
2 - British English, spellings might differ
3 - Same drill - Edits will be implemented during lunch hr ( Malaysian time ) and final clean up after i return from work.


edits - Thanks a lot
1 - Tuesday 3:15 - edited the 4 previews as per suggested by both Jeffrey-Sama and Arcion.
2 - reworded some of the previews to make the flow go better.
3 - Tuesday 6 :15 pm - Further edits and final proofreading - incorporating SOME edits suggested by momokutenshi.
4 - Tuesday 6:15pm - Final clean up done and ready for submission.
Last edited by Eclairs on Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:15 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by JLoable91 » Mon Aug 01, 2011 5:37 pm

Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon)
SpoilerShow
Today Sakagami Tomoyo and Shiina Mafuyu face each other in the arena. These two have a tricky but important similarity which can make it harder to win this match. That is because both are, though they don’t look like it, not the most feminine characters and both have problems in finding love. In Tomoyo's case, this because she is rumored to be violent and to have a record for fighting and misconduct while on Mafuyu’s side it is because she is very frightened by men. Yet they both managed to find someone whom they fell in love with. They even reached a point where they dared to express their love. However Mafuyu didn’t want to change how things were after her confession and Tomoyo's relationship was interrupted for a while. But they still continued to believe in their dreams and always gave it their best shot. As these two face each other in the arena driven by their hopes and dreams, who will be victorious?
WC = not even near 200

It's not perfect, but it is my first Featured Match Write-Up.
Edits are highly welcome!
Last edited by JLoable91 on Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Bastion » Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:41 pm

I'm trying to remember about the word count limit when I suggest edits, but I may tend towards the side of purple prose sometimes.
Eclairs wrote:Haruna ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka? ) vs Yui ( Angel Beats! ) : WC = 160 words
SpoilerShow
In the world of moe – there are a lot of features and archetypes adored by the anime fans. One of the said trait is ‘Fang-tan’ – where the character is being potrayed of having a cute canine teeth, protruding out from her mouth. In the Emerald Period round two match ups, a pair of fang-tans; Haruna and Yui will square up against each other. Several similarities can be drawn between these two maidens. They are both ‘genki’ girls, and most often than not, they are both a bit too high strung compared to the other casts in their respective shows. Smiles are almost permanently etched on their faces as for them, and their mere presence could lift the doom and gloom atmosphere gripping either the Aikawa household or the SSS brigade meeting room. Will the Misteltainn-armed Haruna able to beat her opponent; or will the guitars of Yui sway the match the other way in this ‘Battle of the Fang-tans’ ?
I'm not sure if 'canine teeth' is the correct term, some may choose to view them as 'feline teeth', as felines seem to be the larger of the two 'moe factors' (cat-girl, nekomimi, etc.) but the call is ultimately yours to make.
... both a bit too high strung compared to the other casts in their respective shows...
... both a bit too high strung compared to the -others in their casts/cast members- in their respective shows

... permanently etched on their faces as for them...
... permanently etched on their faces, as they are...
Eclairs wrote:Kasugano Sora ( Yasuga no Sora ) vs Eucliwood Hellsycthe ( Kore wa Zombie Desuka? ) : WC = 180 words
SpoilerShow
Most of the people nowadays devalue the meaning of these two words – love and happiness. But for both Kasugano Sora and Eucliwood Hellsythe, those two words meant the whole world to them. With a multitude of tragedies besetting these two long haired maidens, their inner core has been shattered to the point of them shunning the society. They are not doing this to spite the others, but because they are trying to protect the fragile hearts. Sinking deeper into the abyss of loneliness, they would have been consumed by the darkness engulfing them. But when it matters the most, the ray of warmth and hope shine upon them from the most unlikely of sources. Cherished and protected by her twin brother, Sora finally manages to crept out from the pain and suffering which has accompanied her since birth. Eucliwood on the other hand manages to confront the darkness engulfing her, together with her new found companions. As these two girls grasp their new found warmth and happiness, which one of them will have achieved the greater happiness : Kasugano Sora or Eucliwood Hellscythe?
... those two words meant the whole world to them...
... those two words mean the whole world to them...

... their inner core has been shattered to the point of them shunning the society.
...their inner core has been shattered to the point of shunning society.

...the ray of warmth and hope shone upon them...
...Sora finally manages to creep out from the pain...
I believe either dropping the comma or changing it to a semi-colon would be the grammatically correct way to deal with ...confront the darkness engulfing her, together with her...
Last edited by Bastion on Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Momento10 » Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:13 pm

@JLoable91: Someone can make a better edit. This is the best I could do.
Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon)Show
Today, Sakagami Tomoyo and Shiina Mafuyu face each other in the arena. These two have an a(Most likely a typo at your part.) tricky, but important similarity *which can make it harder to win this match*: That is because both are, though they don’t look like it,(Joined the two sentences to delete repetition) they are not the most feminine characters and both have problems in(Omitted. Do not believe it is needed.) finding love. In the case of Tomoyo, it is this because she is rumored to be violent and *to have has* a record for fighting and misconduct. and (Split the two sentences in fear of a run-on)On Mafuyu’s side, it is because she is very frightened of men. Yet, they both(repetitive) managed to find someone where who("Someone" refers to people, so "who" should be used.) they fell(for parallel structure) in love with. They even reached a point where they dared to express their love. However, Mafuyu didn’t want to change how things were after her confession, and Tomoyo's relationship was interrupted for a while. *But Even so,*they still(Omitted) continued to believe in their dreams and always gave it their best shot. As these two face each other in the arena driven by their hopes and dreams, who will take the victory?
1*. Crossed out because it sounded weird. If you would like to put something there, a similar statement would be "which may leave the voters thinking" or something along said line. I hope you understand what I mean.
2*. Turned it to has for better flow, but if your choosing "to be...to have...," you can omit the edit.
3*. Changed for better flow. Also, throw other words such as "Despite this," "Although," "Still," "Even though," etc. into your sentences when needed.

Main key note to take note are commas. Make sure to add them in when needed so sentence does not sound too run-on. Also, so that readers can take a breath.
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Jeffrey-sama » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:26 pm

Extremely busy today.
I'll try to finish these three. Done.
Katsura Hinagiku (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Hirasawa Ui (K-ON!)Show
Having to look after an unreliable older sister is tough; something that both Katsura Hinagiku and Hirasawa Ui can attest to. Learning to deal with the problems that their older siblings brought has helped these two girls mature over time. Though there may be times of troubles and struggles, both Hina and Ui have managed to overcome them and now stand before each other today. Even if the routes they have taken are different, both of them can definitely agree on one thing: that without the continuing support of their sisters, they may not have been able to make it this far. As the two of them square off for battle, both are determined to show just how much family means to them. The question now is, whose fiery passion will burn brighter?
Huang Lingyin (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs. Nakano Asuza (K-ON!)Show
Both of our contestants today share one thing in common: a body small in stature. But the similarities end here. Both Nakano Asuza and Huang Lingyin are currently at opposite ends of the leaderboard. While Asuza, who is currently sitting at 3rd, is almost guaranteed a Postseason spot, Lingyin's chances of making it into the Top 16 at the end of the regular season is extremely slim. Despite this, Lingyin is determined to win. Knowing that the possibility of winning against her Tier 1 opponent exists, China's IS representative prepares to give it her all when she goes up against the guitar-wielding kōhai of Hōkago Tea Time. In the end, will the energetic fang-tan be able to annihilate her opponent or will she become another victim in Azu-nyan's quest for the Heavenly Tiara?
Sanzen'in Nagi (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Kōsaka Kirino (Ore no Imō…Show
When you can obtain or achieve anything you want in life, you know that you're lucky. Such is the case for Sanzen'in Nagi and Kōsaka Kirino. Rich beyond imagination, Nagi has no problems obtaining any materialistic possession that she desires. With tons of money to spare, the life of this rich otaku sure is easy. On the other hand, Kirino's ability to achieve great success in areas like academics, athletics and beauty make her seem like the perfect person. On top of all that, she is amazingly able to juggle a part-time modelling job as well. But today, neither money or talents will come into play. With both girls standing on level ground, it is up to the voters to decide the winner of this battle between tsunderes. When the dust finally settles, which one of these girls will emerge victorious?
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Jeffrey-sama » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:29 am

Sorry for the double post. Just wanted to separate my edits from my write-ups.
Red indicates corrections
Blue indicates suggestions
Green indicates that rewording may be necessary
Eclairs wrote:Aragaki Ayase (Ore no Imōto) vs Misaka Mikoto (To Aru Majutsu no Index)
SpoilerShow
Keeping a graceful social outlook is a must for most of the girls. Both Aragaki Ayase and Misaka Mikoto aren’t any different. Projecting an image of an honour student – good in academics and working as a part time model - taught Ayase the path she honestly feels she must follow. She wants her circle of friends to lead the lives she envisioned, sometimes much to their chagrin. On the other hand, attending the Tokiwadai Middle School has given Mikoto an ‘ojōsama’ vibe. As the model student in the lands of the ojōsamas, this maiden should be the perfect lady – at least that’s what the surrounding people would deduce. Instead, tucked underneath this beautiful facade is an unladylike girl – hot-headed and headstrong. Very little can separate these two beauties in the outsider’s point of view, but underneath everything, will the honest projection from Aragaki Ayase sways the voter to her, or will the fabricated outlook of Misaka Mikoto to have a stronger pulling power?
- Since you're talking about girls in general, remove 'of the'
- You missed a hyphen (model - taught)
- 'much to their chagrin' is simpler and it works
- I think 'given Mikoto an ‘ojōsama’ vibe' sounds better
- the lands
- No apostrophe needed after ojōsamas
- Added 'at least'
- 'underneath' not 'inside'
- 'in' and not 'from'
- I would use 'everything' instead of 'all'
- sways
- Removed an unnecessary 'to'
Eclairs wrote:Haruna (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?) vs Yui (Angel Beats!)
SpoilerShow
In the world of moe, there are a lot of features and archetypes adored by the anime fans. One of these said traits is the fang-tan – where the character has a fang showing, even when their mouths are closed, to make them appear more cute. In one of the Emerald Round 2 two match-ups, a pair of fang-tans, Haruna and Yui, will square off against each other. Several similarities can be drawn between these two maidens. They are both ‘genki’ girls, and most often than not, they are both a bit too high-strung compared to the other characters in their respective shows. Smiles are almost permanently etched on their faces as for them, and their mere presence could lift the doom and gloom atmosphere gripping either the Aikawa household or the SSS brigade meeting room. Will the Misteltainn-armed Haruna able to beat her opponent; or will the guitars of Yui sway the match the other way in this ‘Battle of the Fang-tans’?
- That hyphen should be a comma
- these said traits
- 'the fang-tan'
- as having
- where the character has a fang showing, even when their mouths are closed, to make them appear more cute. (Source)
- 'In one of the Emerald Round 2' gives the same meaning
- match-ups
- Incorrect use of a semi-colon. Changed it to a comma instead.
- square off
- high-strung
- 'characters' instead 'casts' since a cast is the group of characters
- No need for 'as for them'
Eclairs wrote:Kasugano Sora (Yasuga no Sora) vs Eucliwood Hellsycthe (Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?)
SpoilerShow
Most of the people nowadays devalue the meaning of these two words love and happiness. But for both Kasugano Sora and Eucliwood Hellsythe, those two words meant the whole world to them. With a multitude of tragedies befalling these two long-haired maidens, their inner core has been shattered to the point of them shunning the society. They are not doing this to spite the others, but because they are trying to protect their fragile hearts. Sinking deeper into the abyss of loneliness, they would have been consumed by the darkness engulfing them. But when it mattered the most, the rays of warmth and hope shone upon them from the most unlikely of sources. Cherished and protected by her twin brother, Sora finally managed to creep away from the pain and suffering which had accompanied her since birth. Eucliwood, on the other hand, managed to confront the darkness engulfing her, together with her new found companions. As these two girls grasp their new found warmth and happiness, which one of them will have achieved the greater happiness: Kasugano Sora or Eucliwood Hellscythe?
- these two words love and happiness
- meant
- Did you mean 'befalling'?
- long-haired
- No need for 'the' in front of society
- their fragile hearts
- mattered, rays, shone
- managed to creep away...which had accompanied her
- Commas after 'Eucliwood' and after 'hand' are needed
- managed
- You use 'new found' twice in a short period of time. Try finding a better word/phrase for variety
- No need for 'the'
Eclairs wrote:Charlotte Dunois (IS <Infinite Stratos>) vs Index L. Prohibitorum (To Aru Majutsu no Index)
SpoilerShow
From afar, Charlotte Dunois and Index L. Prohibitorum look like any ordinary girl. Sweet, cheerful, easy going as well as love-struck, would make onlookers think that the lives of these two maidens are perfect. But only a handful of people know the truth about these two bubbly girls. After her mother’s death, Charlotte’s hope of living peacefully in the countryside of France was shattered. To compound her problem, she was then sent to Japan under a secret ploy by her father’s company; under the pretext of being the second male IS pilot in the world. As for Index, she had been forced to remember 103000 grimoires, making her a sought after entity in the Magical circle. To make sure she is controllable, the Necessarius Church scheduled a memory purge each year, under the pretext of keeping her safe from brain overloads. Which one of these two maiden exhibits a stronger will-power: Charlotte Dunois or Index L. Prohibitorum?
- I shortened the first sentence and reworded part of the second sentence
- Maybe adding a 'But' before 'only' sounds better
- her
- had been
- You use a variant of 'make' later in the sentence so I changed it 'made' to 'forced' instead
- scheduled, safe
- This is the second time you use 'under the pretext'. Variety is necessary.
JLoable91 wrote:Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon)
SpoilerShow
Today Sakagami Tomoyo and Shiina Mafuyu face each other in the arena. These two have an tricky but important similarity which can make it harder to win this match. That is because both are, though they don’t look like it, not the most feminine characters and both have problems in finding love. In Tomoyo's case, is this because she is rumored to be violent and to have a record for fighting and misconduct while on Mafuyu’s side, it is because she is very frightened by men. Yet they both managed to find someone whom they fell in love with. They even reached a point where they dared to express their love. However Mafuyu didn’t want to change how things were after her confession and Tomoyo's relationship was interrupted for a while. But they still continued to believe in their dreams and always gave it their best shot. As these two face each other in the arena driven by their hopes and dreams, who will be victorious?
- an tricky
- 'In Tomoyo's case,' sounds better
- Removed an unnecessary 'is'
- 'while on' instead of 'and on' shows more contrast
- frightened by men ('scared of men' works too)
- whom they fell in love with
- I like 'who will be victorious?' but that's just my preference

Comments: Quite good for your first write-up. Try not to spoil anything for the readers though.
Spoilers that you shouldn't includeShow
- Mafuyu's confession to Ken
- Tomoyo's relationship with Tomoya

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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by Momento10 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:50 am

Kiriya Nozomi (Mayoi Neko Overrun!) vs. Isurugi Mio (MM!)
Note: I created two versions of this. Pick whichever one you deem the better of the two.
Version 1Show
It is not their fault that they were kept in cages; they did not wish for it to be this way. So what if her talents far exceeded her peers? It does not benefit her if it only causes those around her to be saddened and suffer. She left because she cannot bear to see the pain of her friends. Even upon leaving, things simply grew worse as her feelings mingled with everyone else. She wishes to speak out her opinion to others, but there is only so much happiness that one can obtain. She only wished to help others, yet does not know that the one she is hurting is herself. She wanted to give back to those that helped her in the past. That is why she continues to do this, so that no one would be sad. It does not matter who sent the request; she will always get the job done. Even so, there is a limit to how many wishes she grants before she hurts herself. A single plate of happiness is placed in front of them, but which one has the courage to reach out to it?
Version 2Show
I did not wish for it to be this way. So what if my talents far exceeded my peers? My abilities do not benefit me if it only causes those around me to be saddened and suffer. That is why I left; I could not bear to see the pain of my friends. However, even upon leaving, things just got worse. My feelings mingled with everyone else, and I can see how bothered they are from it. I wish I can say something, but there is only so much happiness that I can obtain. I only wished to help others. How do I know I am hurting myself? I wanted to give back to those that helped me from before. That is why I created the club, so that no one would be sad. It does not matter who sends the request; I will always get the job done. Despite this, there is a limit to how many wishes I can grant before I hurt myself. I see a plate of happiness in front of me. She deserves to have that plate more than me. I want to give it to her, but...but...I...
Saber (Fate/stay night) vs. Fujibayashi Kyō (CLANNAD)
SpoilerShow
Beauty, brain, and brawn collide as these two veterans clash once more. In 2008, these two girls clashed in Topaz 1, where Kyō would be seen as the victor. This class president knows how to send a clear and powerful message to her opponents without using a hardcover dictionary. Saber's pride does not accept this defeat and evokes a rematch the following year. In 2009, at Topaz 7, despite Saber's strong effort, Kyō remained standing when their match ceased. Saber was not about to give up just get. Last year, in Diamond 7, by a mere 58 vote margin, Saber was finally able to topple her arch-nemesis and obtain the victory. Saber demonstrated that she can be in the top of her game with enough effort put on it. Now, they stand toe to toe once more in the familiar arena that they already have been comfortable with. Can Saber show once more why she is considered the strongest of her kind and even the score, or will Kyō prove to her that their latest encounter was simply a fluke?
Sanzen'in Nagi (Hayate no Gotoku!) vs. Kōsaka Kirino (Ore no Imōto)
SpoilerShow
If these two, intelligent blonds were to meet, they may complement each other very well. Sanzen'in Nagi is a girl who gave up on the outside world due to people trying to kidnap her and selling her for ransom. Her knowledge of anime, manga, video games, and the like is immense to the point where she can materialize events from them to real life. In contrast, Kōsaka Kirino is a wild and out-going character who enjoys athletics and modeling, so she is already fond of the outside world. Her main worry is showing off her otaku traits in public so that her friends may not think too differently of her. Maybe, these two could have been good friends. Sadly, the friendship may need to start later, for both are trying to fight their way to the Top 16. Which of these girls will overcome the other when the dust settles?
Iwasawa Asami (Angel Beats!) vs. Tachibana Kanade (Angel Beats!)
SpoilerShow
Is it truly alright to meet up like this? All she ever wanted to do was to sing so that, one day, someone would be saved by her song. Everyone fell silent as a simple, yet powerful melody was being sung by a girl with music as her passion. During the concert that night, she was there to watch what was happening. She stayed hidden from the scene, wondering whether or not her decision was truly correct. Maybe, they could have known each other in a different light. Instead of fighting or distracting, they may have been able to play together. How did it come to this? With one facing the other, can they act like enemies when they would have been able to forgive each other before the beginning if this entire mess. Yet, they walk closer, knowing exactly what is at stake here, whether it be their life or their future.
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JLoable91
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Re: Emerald 2011 Featured Match Write-ups

Post by JLoable91 » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:48 am

Jeffrey-sama wrote:
JLoable91 wrote:Sakagami Tomoyo (CLANNAD) vs Shiina Mafuyu (Seitokai no Ichizon)
SpoilerShow
Today Sakagami Tomoyo and Shiina Mafuyu face each other in the arena. These two have an tricky but important similarity which can make it harder to win this match. That is because both are, though they don’t look like it, not the most feminine characters and both have problems in finding love. In Tomoyo's case, is this because she is rumored to be violent and to have a record for fighting and misconduct while on Mafuyu’s side, it is because she is very frightened by men. Yet they both managed to find someone whom they fell in love with. They even reached a point where they dared to express their love. However Mafuyu didn’t want to change how things were after her confession and Tomoyo's relationship was interrupted for a while. But they still continued to believe in their dreams and always gave it their best shot. As these two face each other in the arena driven by their hopes and dreams, who will be victorious?
- an tricky
- 'In Tomoyo's case,' sounds better
- Removed an unnecessary 'is'
- 'while on' instead of 'and on' shows more contrast
- frightened by men ('scared of men' works too)
- whom they fell in love with
- I like 'who will be victorious?' but that's just my preference

Comments: Quite good for your first write-up. Try not to spoil anything for the readers though.
Spoilers that you shouldn't includeShow
- Mafuyu's confession to Ken
- Tomoyo's relationship with Tomoya

I've read some of the previous write-ups, where I found some spoilers too, but isn't it normal you know the characters you vote on, so it aren't spoilers anymore?
Also thx for the edit, i changed it in my write-up, I also used your preference in the last sentence :bigsmile:
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