Blue Rondo à la maglor (CD 1409)
Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 12:42 am
Productivity isn't everything, but in the long run it is almost everything. A country's ability to improve its standard of living over time depends almost entirely on its ability to raise its output per worker. --- Paul Krugman, The Age of Diminishing Expectations (1994)
The Seitokai writers' note: The appointment was made weeks ago and the Community page on the ISML main site was edited since then. This Council Directive is just to "formally" announce it.
Council Directive 1409
Proposal: Shmion shall replace Team Rocket Elite as the Fantasy Contest Coordinator. Also, he and RegalStar shall be given the title of "Data Analyst", i.e. official slaves of maglor.
Proposed by: Rita Ainsworth
Consent: Maō Sadao, Rita Ainsworth, Akasaka Ryūnosuke, Hiradaira Chisaki, Nishikino Maki, Koizumi Itsuki
Abstain: Yoshino, Yoshinon
*13th February, 2015, Seitokai Common Room, at Ryūnosuke's desk*
Rita: So Ryūnosuke, where should we go to celebrate Valentine's Day tomorrow?
Ryūnosuke: I'm not your
girlfriendboyfriend, foreign girl. Go celebrate it with someone else.
Rita: So mean, Ryūnosuke. How dare you treat me like this?
Ryūnosuke: You're just a troublemaker to me. Besides, I have to code a few thousand more lines for Maid-chan.
Rita: Are these pixels that much more important than me?
Ryūnosuke: You won't understand, foreign girl.
Rita: Please, Ryūnosuke? Going to a theater for a film, maybe?
Ryūnosuke: No thanks.
Rita: Oh, there's also a re-airing of the hit romance film You Are The Apple of My Eye on the TV!
Chisaki: Rita, please worry about your date later. We have a problem.
Rita: Is there anything that is so important that it takes priority ahead of my destiny?
Chisaki: Yes. And you won't be pleased when you saw this.
Rita: *gets a sheet from Chisaki* Alright, let's see...
*a few seconds later*
Rita: Emergency meeting ladies and gentlemen, please stop all of your work and listen. Yoshino, please freeze Ryūnosuke's keyboard and mouse for a while so that he listens.
Ryūnosuke: Oy foreign girl, what do you think you're doing? I can't do my work!
Rita: This concerns the life and death of ISML, so do concentrate.
Ryūnosuke: So what?
Rita: If this isn't taken care of properly, we will lose our jobs and our lollipops.
Sadao: I still want my position as the Lord!
Sadao: AGAIN!? THIS IS ENOUGH YOU KNOW?
Maki: I don't mind the lollipops at all... ba-ka. Still, what's the issue?
Rita: You guys remembered that we sent maglor, or should we say madlor, to a mental hospital right?
Maki: Don't remind me of this ba-ka again. Thanks.
Sadao: He went mad in the hospital?
Chisaki: No. However, due to his absence, the productivity of the International Saimoe League staff has dropped from 99.999% to 99.99%. Moreover, the semi-retirement of Team Rocket Elite, our slave for organizing Fantasy contests, has further caused the figure to drop to 99%. This is not good news. If we don't replenish these roles, it will just drop anti-exponentially and shall trend to zero soon.
Rita: The trouble is, we don't know of any people who can replace their roles. We need to ask, but the person who knows all about such...
Sadao: ...is Mr. madlor?
Rita: Exactly, and that's why this is troublesome, since madlor, as the name goes, is mad. Do you guys still think we should meet him? If we don't, then we will have to share the entire blame if we induct poor staff members into ISML.
Itsuki: We need security then...
Rita: No worries. Yoshino shall freeze and escort him here. He shall be chained at his arms and legs, and if he dares to move an inch, my pet shall give him a nice freeze. Same applies when he returns to the hospital. Anybody have objections?
*nobody raises their hands or speaks*
Rita: Alright, Yoshino, please execute your duties. Everyone, please proceed to the den. And be cautious.
*15 minutes later, at the den*
maglor: My dear Seitokai members, did you call me here to inform me that you regretted your decisions and decided to adopt my proposal instead?
Rita: No. Instead, thanks to your madness, we now habe more trouble to deal with. Who do you suggest can replace Team Rocket Elite's role as the fantasy contest coordinator, and who do you think is qualified enough to do some of your high-tier mathematical work?
maglor: *thinks for a while* Shmion has been my slave doing parts of the data collection and manipulation process, along with RegalStar. These two should work fine. And as for fantasy, I don't know. Nobody has been very accurate at fantasy contests in 2014, with different community members winning over different periods. This, I would say, is at your discretion.
Rita: What about if we also give that responsibility to one of these two?
maglor: RegalStar has to deal with Chinese translations, so I would advise not to. As for Shmion, you can of course use him.
Rita: Thank you very much Mr. maglor. You may now leave. Under the escort of the guards, of course. Yoshino!
*maglor is frozen again and pushed away from the scene*
Rita: Chisaki, we will be able to restore the productivity of the staff if we accept these two suggestions right?
Chisaki: Yes, Rita-san.
Rita: Anybody here have any objections?
Itsuki: Since he's mad, are you sure all of his suggestions are genuine and useful?
Rita: One can't be sure until he or she tries it. If maglor's suggestions don't work, we'll leave him instead in the Seitokai prison to die without any food or water.
Sadao: OK, I sense this might work.
Rita: All in favor? *no responses* Alright, that's the end of the meeting. So Ryūnosuke, where should we go to celebrate Valentine's Day tomorrow?
Chisaki: Oh, I got a coupon for a love hotel here. Want it?
Rita: Yes, sure. Oh, and Ryūnosuke, you're not going anywhere. The reason I used this room is because if you dare go past the doors, you will be shot by an electric gun, and when you wake up, you shall see yourself in a love hotel room with me.
Ryunosuke: Sorata! Help me!
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